Why I Decided To Buy The Farm

Aside from the droll play on words in the title…

When you have a dream there are two legitimate responses, pursue it or let it go.

Letting go of a dream is not the failure we suppose it is.  I let go of the dream of being an artist.  I let go of the dream of being an actor.  I don’t feel a lot of anguish over either decision.

I couldn’t let go of the dream of a small farm.  John Seymour will be my patron saint for a while.

There’s only one dream that can hurt and that is the dream you can’t let go but don’t pursue.  That dream becomes a corrosive yardstick against which your reality is constantly measured and constantly found lacking.  It slowly leaches the color out of your world.

So I bought the farm.  I bought the farm knowing full well that I was looking through rose colored glasses.  I superimposed a 1950s americana propaganda film clip over every fault and fissure and I’m okay with that.  I know this dream may fail – in fact that’s the strangest thing about this whole adventure, where I would usually  shy away from the possibility of failure I have absolutely no fear.  If in two years, or five years, or ten we move on I will do so gladly because at least I have tried.

Having tried, I am at peace with the outcome.