Week 5

I’m dealing with the cognitive dissonance of time moving too slowly and too quickly at the same time.  My semester is split into two 7 week sessions.  I’m in week 5, or starting week 5, or ending week 5, quite frankly I’m so brain dead I can’t figure out which.  All I know is tomorrow is the last day of Unit 5 in my one course that has nothing but a final grade – god I hate those.

I’ve finally resorted to list making to slog through all of my assignments.  Gone is any grand dream of an over-arching learning experience that expands my soul and moves me one step closer to renaissance-man status.  Now it’s just a check beside a task.

On the plus side, every time I reach meltdown status and grey matter starts to seep out of my ears I’ve started finding some mindless task like folding laundry to use as a palate cleanser for my brain.  The house is staying pretty darn clean.  I’m finding a new respect for monks that use physical labor to free their minds for contemplation of god.

Two weeks and I will be 25% complete with my goal.  Three more 7 week sessions and I will be done.  I can do this.  I can do this.

I need chocolate.

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Life Goes On

And on.  And thank goodness because it’s so much better than the alternative.

School is taking every second of free time that I have.  For the last three weeks my life has consisted of waking, working, and studying.  I am riding the bow wave though and doing my best to stay there.  One luxury that I am unable to give up is reading before falling asleep.  In fact, when I don’t read, I don’t sleep.  Maybe it’s not such a luxury after all.  I finally, after several years of following his blog, have begun reading John Michael Greer’s Long Descent.  It is fascinating.  I have to say that I think he makes the most cogent presentation of our future I’ve encountered to date.  I knew from my response to his blog that I would agree with most of his ideas but I didn’t realize just HOW reasonable they would be.  There’s a certain fatalistic freedom and budding hope I get from his writing.  I’m trying to stop picturing the future only in terms of me and looking at it in terms of the human race.  I think his point about the last person to leave a civilization not realizing that a civilization has passed on is absolutely spot on and puts the lie to so many of the prepper ideologies out there.  It seems that 97% of preppers (just a wild ass number I just made up) share the thought that if they can just get through the “big calamity” life will return to normal – or some semblance of normal.  In reality, life will gradually evolve with very little of the population realizing what is going on.

When it comes right down to it, our civilization would eventually disappear even if natural limits were not imposed upon us.  Change is the only constant.